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doki
 
Posts : 130
Points : 4486
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 29
 | | Subject: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:25 pm | |
| So anyways I was just in a writing mood lately and wrote this up. It's not supposed to be in any real structured format though so have at it.
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Come at me
show me what I have left
show me my faults
my fears
my blatant views on the world.
Don’t tell me
how perfect
how wonderful
how pretty I am.
There’s nothing here
nothing left to hide
I just want out of this
sad pretty little world
that I call home.
I still want us
the way it used to be
it still is that way
only i fear those lines on the map.
I crinkle it up only to see
that you don’t move
not an inch
not a mile
not a yard or meter.
Someday oh someday
we’ll find a way
to triumph over this terrible
occupation we now hold.
I will wait.
I will triumph.
I will show the world that I am nothing more than me. |
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Chezerony
 
Posts : 454
Points : 5123
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 24
Location : My Basement
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:31 pm | |
| BETTER LOVE STORY THAN TWILIGHT |
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doki
Posts : 130
Points : 4486
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 29
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:35 pm | |
| - Chezerony wrote:
- BETTER LOVE STORY THAN TWILIGHT
I CAN'T TELL IF YOU ARE SERIOUS BUT THANK YOU  no seriously. I had no idea where this poem was going so that's why there's this sudden jump in the middle. |
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Cowlicks
Posts : 147
Points : 4498
Reputation : 5
Join date : 2012-11-04
Age : 26
Location : Antarctica
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:36 pm | |
| Oh I really like this. So deep  +1 |
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Chezerony
Posts : 454
Points : 5123
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 24
Location : My Basement
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:38 pm | |
| - doki wrote:
- Chezerony wrote:
- BETTER LOVE STORY THAN TWILIGHT
I CAN'T TELL IF YOU ARE SERIOUS BUT THANK YOU
no seriously. I had no idea where this poem was going so that's why there's this sudden jump in the middle. I'm being cereal  |
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doki
Posts : 130
Points : 4486
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 29
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:46 pm | |
| - Cowlicks wrote:
- Oh I really like this. So deep
+1 Its funny how in person the deepest thing you could get out of me is probably "I like food". But anyways thank you! I missed writing so much. |
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IllusDark8
 
Posts : 34
Points : 4262
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2012-11-04
Age : 27
Location : Surrey, British Columbia
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:45 am | |
| Very well done, you added a lot of emotion into your writing. I love it. Keep up the great work.
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CrimsonRed
Posts : 279
Points : 4778
Reputation : 11
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 24
Location : Your mom
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:55 am | |
| Great poem, deep, terse, and inspirational. |
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-Space-
Posts : 106
Points : 4402
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2012-11-04
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 06, 2012 10:28 am | |
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Amadeus
 
Posts : 81
Points : 4373
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2012-11-02
Age : 28
Location : Maine
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 06, 2012 10:42 am | |
| - doki wrote:
- Cowlicks wrote:
- Oh I really like this. So deep
+1
Its funny how in person the deepest thing you could get out of me is probably "I like food".
But anyways thank you! I missed writing so much.
I can attest to this post, haha. Good poem. |
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doki
Posts : 130
Points : 4486
Reputation : 9
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 29
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:07 pm | |
| - Amadeus wrote:
- doki wrote:
Its funny how in person the deepest thing you could get out of me is probably "I like food".
But anyways thank you! I missed writing so much.
I can attest to this post, haha. Good poem. I don't mean to haha. Just at school its not the best time to get lost in thought. |
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artimies7
 
Posts : 9
Points : 4202
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2012-11-04
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:56 pm | |
| Resolve!
yeeaaahhuuuhhh
Also: this is probably the only post today, from my observations. NOT GUD PPL |
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Chezerony
Posts : 454
Points : 5123
Reputation : 6
Join date : 2012-11-03
Age : 24
Location : My Basement
| | Subject: Re: I made a little poem Tue Nov 20, 2012 12:07 am | |
| we moved back to the old forums, art.... |
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